Acceptance

Just had another treatment thursday, so the last few days haven't been to whippy. It's hard to believe I've been getting these treatments for about a year now. They have helped. I don't feel like I've lost much ground since I started.
Since it has given me more time, I am faced with a new issue. Acceptance. I've learned that it isn't a one time deal. I've felt good enough at times that I con myself into believing that I may still live forever :)
So, I must accept my circumstance all over again. X.

SAD

The last few days have been unseasonably warm and rainy. Temps the last few days have been in the 60's. Quite a change from the cold we've been having. Actually set a record yesterday.
There are many of us who battle with 'seasonal affective disorder'. Lack of sunlight is the main culprit, and this month has been no exception with many a cloudy day.
I take doses of vitamin D along with St. Johns Wort to help with the blahs that bother me. It was years before I was able to find out what caused my mid winter depressions.
Just a little info from the Darkside if you are wondering why you get the blahs about this time each year. X.

Exposition

Sam lives in a treehouse

he hates it down on the ground.

thinks there's too damn much goin' on

"it's all just a bucket for people to shit in."

is what he thinks.

Like bugs in a hurry

goin' nowhere,

acting like they know something.

Seeking knowledge,

denying the truth.

 

Sam is perfectly happy

alone with some poetry.

He writes lyrics for the birds,

they supply the melody

and the music is fine by him.

He can dance to it.

 

Sometimes he has to climb down

through the leaves and limbs,

get his feet back on the ground.

Last time, he walked to the fence

gazed at the road below

and shook his head.

By dark, he felt kinda dirty,

had to bathe in the crick,

his boney ass resting on the rocks,

head sticking out of the water,

he looked across the mossy bank

at a deep patch of sky

said, "Damn big bucket!"

 

 

Vol Lindsey

Even the Darkside has some light shine in!

Merry Christmas from the Darkside! Xavier

Still hangin in there!!!!!!!!!!

I'm still hangin in there. Take treatments first of each month. Some good days, some not so good. Just tickled to still be kickin. Cancer diffenatley belongs on the 'Darkside'. Xavier

Mother Natures Darkside

As I walked out my front door yesterday I noticed something fall out of a tree in the front yard. Right behind it was a Blue Jay. The first thing I saw fall was a young bird. The Blue Jay landed beside it and began pecking at it. By the time I got to the young bird and scared off the Blue Jay the young bird was dying. It was a Morning Dove. This made me furious. I have heard of the Blue Jay doing a lot of things but this act was just pure evil. Just goes to show that man isn't the only evil being on this planet. X.

Update on Me and the big C

If it's possible for a little light to shine on the Darkside, I think it did. At the beginning of my operation to have part of my left lung removed, the Dr. went in with a scope after deflating the lung. He noticed more cancer in my ribcage and did a biopsy. It was sent to be analized while I was still out. It appeared to be the same as the sample they took from the lung a month earlier, so a decision was made not to remove the lung. After a ten day wait while they tried to decide for sure if it was lung cancer,they came to the conclusion that it was not lung cancer but stage four breast cancer. I guess the bottom line here is that the breast cancer will be more responsive to treatment than lung cancer which has spread to other parts of the body. More time, perhaps. I've been receiving treatments every two weeks. And also started bone treatments to strengthen my bones. The bone treatments are painful for a couple of days then I'm back to normal. I feel good most of the time but I do tire easily. Thanks for the prayers sent and words of encouragement. Xavier